Part Two: Dealing with it

I would like to share some of the wisdom of the ages in the belief that it may go some way to soothing the traumas suffered after having spent and gained many pounds in achieving the perfect hangover - (many have tried but few achieve the perfectly formed central frontal head pain combined with lack of physical dexterity, optimum nausea, and diminished brain activity).

Damaged central brain function developed as a consequence of that fifth half and half Suffolk Strong and Southern Comfort has removed traditional cures to a hazy past memory. Nature had the answer.....

The Egyptians, who spent more than a desert night or two with a jug and drinking vessel firmly maintained that drinking virgins urine (ideally female and from a proven source) provided effective protection for a night out at the Sphinx Arms with a few Asses Ales and Tutankhamen tops.

The Elizabethans, renowned for their ability with the ale and mead pitcher swore (worse and worse as the evening went on) by the following remedy - before drinking, consume raw, or for the faint hearted, boiled, pigs lungs. This tasty dish was guaranteed to provide twenty four hours protection from the effects of alcohol. It should be mentioned that New Age Corner is unaware of any clinical trials conducted recently for this remedy - particularly in conjunction with Old Bob or IPA.

Further from our shores the native Americans still maintain that an effective night before or morning after remedy is concocted by preparing a soup including hens blood, raw egg, and strips of buffalo stomach. Once again, appealing but not scientifically proven.

Anecdotal evidence therefore suggests that eating before drinking provides not only significant protection for the evenings events but also a nourishing and tasty meal for the family.

Alternatively top yourself up once the damage is done with as many toxic pharmaceuticals as your shaky hands can direct towards your dry mouth.

New Age Corners Top Tip -

It=s non-toxic, easily available, well tolerated, cost effective, comes ready mixed, has a low lethal dose range, contains no >e= numbers, and is the active ingredient in all chemist bought hangover treatments - and unlike an aspirin you can float a paper boat in it if you want to - water.

Alcohol suppresses the secretion of vasopressin from the pituitary gland. Lack of vasopressin in circulation translates to a general dehydration of the body including the brain cells.

Basically we are made up of 75% water (the brain 85%) - after a few beers some of this water ends up in the Wheatsheafs plumbing, resulting in a headache.


Remedy? If you are still upright drink plenty of water before becoming less upright. Ever see a goldfish with a hangover? For the morning after dose, throw some vitamin C in. Never ignore thirst - it=s trying to tell you something.