Poor old Albie from Fullbrook has just been done for indecent exposure. The copper caught him walking round his garden , in broad day light piddling on his cabbages!

" I were just following instructions." He told the magistrate. " It sez yur on the packet ‘Prick out and water regularly’"

Then I found his cousin standing in the brook with a jar in his hand. "What bist at, you? " I asked him.
"I got a headache" says he.

"Oh arr" says I " But what bist at in thie brook?"

"Well, Doctor telled I to take two of these tablets in water."

Mind you his wife is as daft, she caught a mole once on the lawn. Couldn’t bring herself to kill it so she thought her old man could do it when he came home. So, in order to stop the mole escaping she left him on the lawn with a bucket over the top of him.

I am delighted to respond to Jan’s invitation to become a contributing writer to the Wheatsheet.

I am an English exile in the New World (Voluntary). I have a Green Card: I am still a loyal subject of Her Majesty the Queen.

Echoes From The Past

They sell good beer at Haslemere
And under Guildford Hill.
At little Cowfold as I’ve been told
A beggar may drink his fill.
There is a good brew in Amberley too
And by the bridge also;
But the swipes they take in at Washington Inn
Is the very best Beer I know.

(Chorus)
With my here it goes, there it goes,
All the fun’s before us:
The Tipple’s Aboard and the night is young,
The door’s ajar and the Barrel is sprung,
I am singing the best song ever was sung
And it has a rousing chorus.

If I were what I never can be,
The master or the Squire:
If you gave me the hundred from here to the sea,
Which is more than I desire:
Then all my crops should be barley and hops,
And did my harvest fail,
I’d sell every rood of mine acres I would
For a belly-full of good Ale.

Bert Grant’s from Yakima, Washington. These are hand crafted, small production, "India Pale Ale" (4.2%) "Amber Ale" ( 4.5%) " Perfect Porter" (4%).

Grant is a Scotsman who emigrated to the USA On one of the labels it says:

" Bert grant began making beer in 1945. Always a pioneer, Bert started the Pacific Northwest’s first Craft Brewery in 1982 in the heart of the world’s premier hop growing region. He also opened America’s first Brewpub. All of his real ales are hand crafted from a single Copper kettle made to satisfy the most demanding beer drinker in the world"

Modesty is not one of Grant’s virtues, but his beers are very drinkable.
Cheers till next time!